these nights, my tear glands went hyper active

I'm fucking screwed.
feel like i'm brought into this world to get tortured.
You get it?
I want to do something about my life.
HELL

I regret making the decision few weeks back, yet i can do nothing about it now.
Just today, i realised how this can be so important to me.
Yet i just let things slip pass just like that.
I cant believe it myself.
now i'm going to mop the dam floor.
DAM IT. this is so torturing.

is the hardwork and effort i gave not enough?
i freaking hate this seriously.
it's like half there half not there
so now what?? what do you want me to do??

firstitwasaygnextitwasasean
dontnameanotherone
pleaselord
imbeggingyou

i was at a lost for words just now
my mind stood still, all i know was that
i missed the time
when i felt like i was a part of it

the bond
the friendship
the coach
are just.. too beautiful

YET AGAIN, I LET EVERYTHING SLIPPED AWAY.
i can't turn back.
it's pointless now.

ball
please overwhelm me with
happiness and satisfaction

Loooorrrrddd
Please stop all these, i'm really tired.
keep the motivation within me
to continue to excel
to make the right decision
don't let all these beautiful things end just here
i wish to continue futher.....
I'm willing to give....
Anthing..
Everything..

or
should i just stop here..