Thursday, January 05, 2012

A strong person needs motivation and encouragements too

Dam
It.
I hate losing, especially by such a small margin.

I know I missed out a lot, dint go for quite a number of trainings. I can't seem to find this passion back. It's tough, really. Trust me I want it back badly too, but I'm in this alone. I should be tough enough to realize that everything had been this way since the day we all left together, so much that I want to bury myself in memories. I look forward to life a lot actually, that's why I'm constantly picking up from set backs and moving on....

I know words are cheap. Actions are what matters. Nothing is really pulling me back. Truthfully, I am the barrier. I hate it when at the end of the day, I left the game with a tinge of regret. Seriously, why did I even show that "I'm tired, I give up" face when he tried to encourage me. Wtf, loser. Faggot.

Sorry for all that shit that I gave. I will put my heart in everything I do. Coach said "这么大了应该懂怎么proritize一下" all the guilt crept in... Why am I so playful that I keep wanting to go out. Just go trainings can?

I very much want a life actually. I enjoy every single part of being a student athlete, no doubt. Yup, gonna set my priorities right. Not a new year resolution, I just want to get things down right. 

when you don't get anything like this, seek from your innerself. Self actualization girl. 

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