Finding the right path, finding myself

Hello mello wello bello ~~

Merry xmas everybody! (L)

It's been quite awhile, right? I'll complete this blogpost today with breadcrumbs of my past few weeks . If you’re like me, you’ll have those moments where all you want is to be presented with a kick-ass list of relevant and personalized content to consume on demand. There would be times where you have a lot of things in mind and end up forgetting. So I'm telling myself this, to pen down every single thing that comes into your mind.

Okay! Life had been a little shaky for me. And I mean it's really just only ME. I had been leading a comfortable 3 months in Shanghai. How should I put it? Or rather, life has been like work 9-6pm > dinner with friends/dinner at home > own time own target > sleep. And the cycle repeats. I didn't talk to a lot of people there, when I was at home, I only texted/skype. Yes I had my friends and aunt over there. I dontknow how to put it. But it seems like I became an introvert after I came back. YAH I AM THINKING TOO MUCH.

Or is this part of being independent and living on your own. It seems like when I came back, I don't talk as much as I used to. I feel it, and it kinda horrifies me. And having a lot of myself-time over there, it gave me more chance to think about life. And observe a lot of our fellow human being, the working world, the environment.. what's worse is that, I'm looking to graduation now. Questions like "what do you want to do after you grad?", "what do you want to be next time?". It haunts me okay. Like really. I use to think naively.... do what makes you happy. But like seriously?? I know we only live once, so live it to the fullest. But just living happily ever after, does that even count? I need a sense of satisfaction, a sense of accomplishment. I've not felt it ever since donkey years ago.

I once told a friend this, "If you don't love yourself, no one is going to do so." And I'm throwing that back at myself now. It's not that I don't. Can I say I'm just lost at this juncture? I don't know what's next. Seriously, what's next? I hate this part of me, this lost self. Life rewards the one who works hard. So I should take awhile and think about what the next adventure awaits me. So, if you don't love yourself, you're just being plain selfish to the dearest ones who do.

OKAY, enough said. I'm dolphinately looking forward to 2013. I mean it's the best time to say "time to clean off your records and start afresh!" Not forgetting that 21/12 didn't zap us into dust/thin air. We survived what they called doomsday, I dontknow to feel happy or not. Maybe towards the happy side because I feel like I've not seen so much of the world.Good thing is that we survived another year, gained valuable experience. Hopefully, do more crazy wiser shits in 2013. Okay it's not a new year post so I shall not....
 
And to those who thinks that i'm a little too crazy/hyperactive.... enjoy this while it lasts.... because the crazy sam is coming back to town~~~ hohohohohoh. *self comfort*

xoxo,
sleep tight world!