It's super amazing how my mood entirely changed and I feel like a whole new different person now. As much as I will miss school, staying up till the wee hours at night, laughing my ass off in school because I've some really awesome friends. I feel like I'm over the moon now. wheehee. And I am glad to say, now that school has officially came to an end, I am glad to have forged some true friendships and that these three years in poly was an eye opener for me.
Isn't it funny. Because this journey in life was certainly not what I thought it would be, or rather what I chose for. Just few years back in 2009, I find myself troubling over which JC to go to, HC or VJC. I eventually chose vjc because of various reasons (distance & all). In the first half of 2010, I remember myself being enthusiastic and all, playing ice-breaking games, screaming the cheers of VJC, standing firm and upright singing the National Anthem and reciting the nation's pledge, walking over to thaipan for late night dinner and roxy square ban mian. I felt truly like a victorian. I could still remember waking up as early as 530am to rush to school everyday, practicing bball under the scorching hot sun which seems more like grilling the skin sessions, going back to school on a Saturday for practice early in the morning, then to another venue for club trainings. I felt like a superwoman, yes life was fulfilling, but I was tired as hell everyday and I questioned myself if that was really what I wanted.
I took up the courage to talk to my parents, coaches, teachers and a few close friends. Till now, I feel bad leaving my good friend, S behind and sadly I still haven found the courage to tell him that. Anyway, I'm glad things turned out well. In the later half of 2010, it started all over again. The phase of first-day-of-school- horror in poly: What to wear to school? Sad to say, I can't quite remember what I wore to school on the very first day, but I'm pretty sure I was quite under dressed in a way lol. Not forgetting making new friends and getting some numbers on the first day of school just to make sure you won't walk into the wrong classroom on the very first day of school which would make me seem like a pure retard. I find it amusing how one of the few friends I made on the first day of school is one of my close buddy in class now and groupmate. I told you I'm someone who believes in fate :)
In 2011, I find myself struggling and saw myself in a constant battle with time. It was so, so tough, because this time it isn't just a battle of time management with solely my own curriculum, but also with the consideration of 5 other group mates. Not considering the other factors like chilling with friends and family time. I clearly had nothing much of that sort, anyway. With countless trainings a week. My life was basically like: (School > project meetings > training > homework/report > Sleep) and the cycle repeats. Things were made even tougher with not very understanding group mates who constantly asserts stress or fakes like they understand but actually don't get it at all. I don't blame anyone because I understand that different people have their own way of getting things done and not everyone understands the life of a student athlete. To add on to the already very massive headaches I get everyday, basketball was hell for me that year. I couldn't see myself on court at all, when I was at training, projects were at the back of my mind and I had no focus.
THE WORST THING was, competition season clashed with the peak period of project submissions. It is extremely tough to handle because the thing is time was really really uncontrollable. Even sacrificing sleep wasn't enough because everyone was fighting for me in the day. Honestly, I can't recall how many times I broke down that year. Can you imagine someone so passionate about her game, trying so hard to find herself back on court, yet failed terribly, and have her coach scolding her ass off in front of a clearly very massive crowd, and going back home to stay up late to complete what she has to before turning in. And going back to school the next day, feigning a smile and tries to please every single soul except herself. I have no idea how I went through this bad year, but I'm glad I did. And a big thank you for those who were there for me, to catch my when I fell.
The start of 2012, I saw the true colors of people. The people whom I thought were my friends. I was utterly disgusted at how political things were, and how ugly people can get. Being so involved in basketball previously, I clearly did not have much opportunities to expand my circle of friends in year 2. As much as I don't wish to mention anything hypocritical over here, but I was certainly malign. And the worst thing was I couldn't stand up for myself and even until today, I wished I had that aggressiveness to confront whoever who made nasty remarks on me. It felt unfair because I felt like they didn't give those people a chance to know me, or vice versa. Oh, and I finally finally finally decide to quit basketball for good in year3 knowing that it won't help me in any way and I really want to focus. It was a tough decision and it was hard to leave. But I am happier without it now, I guess?
God is good. Thank you for giving me such opportunities and blessing me with all the people and happenings that made 2012 so beautiful. I started out with 2012 knowing that I have something to proof and I wanted to shut the mouths of those bad ass people. And I am more than contented with everything. It made me realize that the world needs to have a balance, because there are so many faces to a person and to know who are the true ones, always.
2013-GRADUATION and to the next phase of life :)
oh my god......
this was supposed to be a picture post but I dontknow how it ended up like this. Anw, I'll be uploading the next post with pics so........ thanks for looking back with me ^^v
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