little thoughts on a train ride home

i think i left this space longer than i wanted to.

Just came back from my holiday to Taiwan & Bangkok. Traveling before traveling. Hmm I really want to go out of the Asian countries and I'm just really glad that ive been given a chance to do so now.

Being on the plane, traveling back to back, hearing from peers, it really brought me a tiny step closer to picturing whats it going to be like. It doesnt seem that pleasant, but i
know i can do this. Nothing comes easy. It already gave me a lonely and extremely tired and vexing feeling.

At this point of time, i feel the excitement of a primary one student starting her first day of school. Yet that tinge of fear of meeting new people and with millions of question marks in her mind. Lol i really am excited and looking forward yet scared especially my personality totally doesnt suit the industry that im entering. Bitchy and political they say. I hate judging before
experiencing the real situation myself. But hey..... I got first hand info...... Which terrifies me even more. Lol. But i choose to believe that pros>cons. I just need to be clear of my dreams and let NOTHING change what i set off with from the start.

Ah and im just really thankful for the people whom had been soso supportive about the entire thing. Its like a leap of faith for me and i need all the support that i can have and im just really thankful for all these. Especially from V, it means so much
to me :') and also the words of congratulatory, xiexie nimen^^

P.s Im sorry to the ting yi in sec1, i couldnt fulfil your dream of completing JC, to the ting yi in sec4 im sorry i cant fulfil your dream of getting into a local u nor living the hall life. Its saddening until now because i really wanted it. Everyone has their stories, judge all you want lol FML. So to my dear friends, esp breastie please do your best alright:) it isnt easy but please fulfil my dream for me :) maybe just maybe, i
could still study overseas next time which was something i felt strongly for esp when josh left followed by my closest closest friend D. I was THAT close to robbing a bank already haha. #lateconfessions

Anyhow im feeling extremely HAPPY & EXCITED to embark on this new journey. See the world, sip a cuppa coffee, read a story book at a cafe and watch the world go by, snap a jumpshot pic of the Eiffel tower, soak myself in the blue sea of maldives, go to places i only had a chance to drool at and most importantly SAVE UP and further studies for a better job opportunity.

SIA interview, I made it. SO VERY HAPPY

Hi there, I know I’ve been missing for quite a while. Mainly because I had been sorta wasting my life away, killing time with the most mundane thing you can imagine. I mean not that it was boring; it’s just that there isn’t much to share. Ever since I graduated, I started working part time at awfully chocolate However; I’m back because I’ve this really happy story to share. I’m overwhelmed with joy because it’s such a magical feeling to achieve something that you’ve really really yearned for. I tell you, it felt so… unbelievable.

So just this weekend, I went for SIA interview with over 1000++ applicants vying for the job as a cabin crew (air stewardess/steward)  and it wasn’t easy at all I tell you. I failed the first time I went there. And I decided to give it another shot because I really wanted it. BTW, I just got employed like two weeks ago and my job is pretty okay, just that it’s really quite low pay. Diploma & without experience. What more can I ask for? #realitystrikes. At least it’s marketing related and it can help to contribute to muh resume I guess.

Idk if I should bring you thru the entire interview because it’ll be quite long winded. How bout a brief one? Here goes! There’s a total of 5stages and in between each stages, there’s usually I fairly short but extremely nerve wrecking wait (haha!)

Stage one is a mass interview whereby there’s 10 interviewees and 2 interviewers and they’ll ask you to do a brief introduction of yourself and ask you a random question. Mine was, what is your favorite movie? I was lucky to be the 7^th speaker, I think most people will want to be the first but I wanted more time to think. So can you imagine the first speaker barely have even anytime to think? The first time I was second btw. At first I was like, MOVIE shouldn’t be a problem for me at all because I love movie and it’s one of my hobbies? But I was stuck for a while because I watch TOO many movies. Uh-hur, so I said despicable me? I didn’t describe much about the movie because I felt that it was very boring.. so I went ahead to talk about who I watched it with and how it was more memorable for me because everyone left the theatre with a smile and chatters like school kids. I think the whole point here is to see how you portray yourself, your gestures (look confident & mature? They don’t want a kid) and also to constantly smile after all we will be in the service line. I think the problem for me was that I’m 20 and I look really young and fragile.. so I tried my very best to show the mature side of me.

Stage two was skin check. It was one of the stages that I felt happiest for when I proceeded to the next. Because I felt that it was something that I could do least about? And I literally felt so naked on my face when three spot lights shone of me. Be reminded that it will not just be SOLELY skin check because they’ll talk to you at the same time while looking at your face. They asked what I am currently doing, why I failed the previous time, and how long my sister had been flying already. And then told me to turn my face to left and right and checked my arms and back to my neck for scars and tattoos. And yay to none of them. I TELL YOU THE WAIT OUTSIDE FELT LIKE FOREVER? I was really really nervous but I tried my best to keep calm. And they called my name “Samantha chua… please stand over there” and I’m like?? Stand here is a yes or a no? YAYYYY then she called a few others and told us to proceed to wait for stage 3. HELL YEAH? I tell you I really extremely happy and grateful!!!

Stage three for me was management round already (fyi, most people say this is the toughest stage and the one where most people gets eliminated. On a usual basis right, management round is on the second day. And one-to-one interview is the third stage, but I heard this time too many people got thru stage 1&2 so they swop the tougher stage around. I did not have any thoughts of this because I just really wanted to focus and keep my composure.  It was a group of 6 interviewees and two interviewers. They paired us up and we were given 1 min to know our partner and we had to introduce our partner. I was the first one to speak this time. I think I am lucky to have spoken before my partner? Because she very much said what I said too L afterwhich it was debate. They separated us into 2 groups, and my topic was, social media a boon or bane? My group was against! Again, I think I’m quite lucky? Because my topic is something that I thought of before and I think there’s more to say if you’re going against social media? Note that you’re given only 3 mins to discuss, and that they’re actually observing you when you are discussing. I tried to coordinate my group by asking them to voice out what they think and lastly what I thought. Do not; do not try to overpower anyone because that’s not what you want here, teamwork is the key! Be friendly against your opponents and speak wisely. I would say, the little gestures count a lot, and not to forget your genuine SMILE. Mine ended here while the other groups had a passage to read each (I seriously didn’t mind reading a passage!!) I felt quite comfortable after this stage but I kept having this at the back of my mind, it’s unpredictable and ANYTHING can happen. And 2 out of the 6 made it to the next stage (which is held on the next day). They called my name Samantha chua and ken toh, you’ll made it. OMGOMGOMG I WAS SO HAPPY BECAUSE I MADE IT TO THE NEXT DAY AND MY DREAM INSTANTLY FELT SO MUCH CLOSER AND THAT I CAN GO MEET MY BF HAPPILY AND NOT WALK OUT OF CONCORDE HOTEL WITH SO MUCH SADNESS like the previous time lol.

ANWS, I was really happy to have gotten the form to come on the second day, and I just kept telling myself that I mustn’t fail on the second day because I am just thatttttt close to it!!!!

Stage 4 was two-to-one interview instead of the usual one-to-one. And it’s 2 interviewers and me!! They asked me what I am currently doing and OH! I used to work and awfully chocolate. And they asked me what’s my favorite dessert there. Again asked about my sister and that it was not so glam job that everyone thinks it is? So the question very much varies according to what your application form has!! I think I faired well, but again I still kept worrying while waiting for my results. While waiting for my turn, both guys beside me already PASSED the entire thing and they were both smiling sosososo widely and they kept telling me they hope the best for me, and of cos I just very nervously replied I ALSO HOPE IT’S A YES FOR ME. Lol seriously want to smile as widely as them too. Then…. SAMANTHA CHUA, IT’S A YES FOR YOU BUT….. you’ve kebaya stage up next. I WAS ELATED.

KEBAYA STAGE was the last round for girls!! Guys, if you’re reading this you can skip. So we were brought to this room where there were many different sizes of kebayas and you’re given 5 mins to get changed and bun your hair. They said to pick the smallest size and squeeze into it to show your figure. LOL but I didn’t, I picked the most high cut one. HAAAAA just laugh at me just laugh only. I can seriously tell you ALL the girls look so nice in the kebaya in this stage. All look really pretty? But there wasn’t any mirror so I was wondering if I look fat and look as nice as em. While changing 2 girls came in to change out of the kebaya. And they were saying they fell into the keep in view situation because they’re too skinny and were given 3 months to gain some weight and to call them back to come back for review once they’ve gained their target weight. IT WAS MY TURN, this round, I was nervous as well because it’s the very very last stage and it’s a thorough skin check on the face and body. She pointed out some skin flaws I had on my face. And she actually advised me to use certain this and that to help me cover up my flaws. At the point of time I was just grateful because she was helping and teaching me, but at the same time I was uncertain because idk if this flaw was acceptable?? Anw it was some feign acne marks and scars so she told me to use the pore refiner and concealer then foundation then loose powder to set it. I FRIGGING love her because I actually appreciate it when people help and guide you instead of constantly pointing out your flaws? But anw they’re REALLY particular about skin and scars so girls pls pls take good care of your skin okay? Because I’ve known of stories where there are some zits on the face and she was under KIV. But KIV is better than starting right from the start when you were alr in the final stage? So jiayou! And then she looked at my hands and spotted some red marks and asked me what they are. BTW I never seen this red marks before because it was at the back of my hands. So I just went like omg im not very sure what are these. Then she just haha you don’t even know there is this mark on your hands! LOL. And I was told to walk and it was really nice to see her smiling and nodding.

Thennnnnnnnnnn IT IS A YES FOR ME AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNN. So this time was more official!! I was given a form and went for document check and all. And I just went for medical checkup on Tuesday, so everyone reading this!! Please pray for me that all will proceed smoothly kkkaayyy!!! (L)(L)(L) I’LL BE SUPER THANKFUL…. Im 90% there already!!

I can’t wait to start training, can’t wait to travel round the world. I’ve many many thoughts about this. I am so timid, so fragile so weak, I cry at the slightest thing. It’s time for me to grow up. Adulthood, I am ready for you. Bring it on! And from there, while traveling and appreciating this whole entire thing, I believe I will be able to achieve my next goal in life too.

Dear Lord, I want to take this chance to give you my sincerest thank you.I can’t see to thank you enough. I really felt your presence and support.  Thank you for being here for me.

And to those who felt happy for me and were supporting me all the way, here’s a big thank you! I want to JUMP IN JOY RIGHT NOW. It really feels like a dream!! 

Fate

As the title of this post says it all, yes I am certainly someone who believes in fate alot. There were many things that happened and I find it amazing at how God planned our journey, meet some people I never thought I could/would/might. Now, lemme share with you some of my stories...


Some of you would have known the story of how I met V. I met his bestfriend first and how I met him was already a pretty interesting one. He is a basketball player. Idk if it's just me or what but I had been pretty lucky with my basketball eyecandies/idol? Yes, they always end up talking to me (Okay most of the time, just sharing my story not boasting) so yeah, I always end up exchanging enthusiastic conversations because we kinda have a topic that we are both very passionate about? Don't you think it's already pretty cool how they started talking to me when I was.... manly/boyish and all not mentioning I had only a tinge of feminine side of me on court? (haha... but that's really how i view myself on court and what most people think about bballers) LOL sorry but I think the coolest part is your eyecandies talk to you.... it's a youth thing. I kinda stopped because I'm bloody 20 now? And someone had already crawled deep into the roots of my heart since the last year of my birthday? Okay now back to the topic..... how did I met v? We sure did went through quite a fair bit of drama, caught in a love SQUARE... machiam in those Taiwan or Korean dramas. Okay now that im talking about us.... I'm kinda shy. Heehhhh,  but really glad how fate and your effort brought us together. Shall leave this drama story to.... my children? Hahhahaaaahah exclusive story maybe? Sorry I'm super crappy lol!


How I ended up in the national youth team when I was 13 back then? It was a east zone final match where some people from BAS came down to witness our lost (lol? Okay the way I say it quite sad.. we won first for the next three years Okay?) And my coaches could only send five players to the selections. I was only sec1, and I was lucky enough that they sent my name along with 3 other seniors and my sm. the selections had a hell lot of people, some with good skills some with alright skills. And a few weeks later, I received a letter stating that I am selected and training starts every Saturday. Of course, I am aware that this is not totally fate? Alot of which is hardwork and skills. But growing there, it was really a bittersweet memories for me. I'll never forget how much I gave to be a responsible student athlete. And also made some blossom friends in there who went through alot with me together. *Blows a kiss* and met the best ever coach in my life.


also, after so much drama at the start of year 3. I ended up with a group of oeople who some i know some I barely knew in marketing.


Of course, hearing alot of stories that my friends have shared with me. I think it is really fate?

Looking back

I don't think I've ever been this excited to update my blog before. I've a sudden gush of emotions churning inside me, so much that I feel like I need an inhaler now. YESHHHH that speaks my feelings now.

It's super amazing how my mood entirely changed and I feel like a whole new different person now. As much as I will miss school, staying up till the wee hours at night, laughing my ass off in school because I've some really awesome friends. I feel like I'm over the moon now. wheehee. And I am glad to say, now that school has officially came to an end, I am glad to have forged some true friendships and that these three years in poly was an eye opener for me.

Isn't it funny. Because this journey in life was certainly not what I thought it would be, or rather what I chose for. Just few years back in 2009, I find myself troubling over which JC to go to, HC or VJC. I eventually chose vjc because of various reasons (distance & all). In the first half of 2010, I remember myself being enthusiastic and all, playing ice-breaking games, screaming the cheers of VJC, standing firm and upright singing the National Anthem and reciting the nation's pledge, walking over to thaipan for late night dinner and roxy square ban mian. I felt truly like a victorian. I could still remember waking up as early as 530am to rush to school everyday, practicing bball under the scorching hot sun which seems more like grilling the skin sessions, going back to school on a Saturday for practice early in the morning, then to another venue for club trainings.  I felt like a superwoman, yes life was fulfilling, but I was tired as hell everyday and I questioned myself if that was really what I wanted.

I took up the courage to talk to my parents, coaches, teachers and a few close friends. Till now, I feel bad leaving my good friend, S behind and sadly I still haven found the courage to tell him that. Anyway, I'm glad things turned out well. In the later half of 2010, it started all over again. The phase of first-day-of-school- horror in poly: What to wear to school? Sad to say, I can't quite remember what I wore to school on the very first day, but I'm pretty sure I was quite under dressed in a way lol. Not forgetting making new friends and getting some numbers on the first day of school just to make sure you won't walk into the wrong classroom on the very first day of school which would make me seem like a pure retard. I find it amusing how one of the few friends I made on the first day of school is one of my close buddy in class now and groupmate. I told you I'm someone who believes in fate :)

In 2011, I find myself struggling and saw myself in a constant battle with time. It was so, so tough, because this time it isn't just a battle of time management with solely my own curriculum, but also with the consideration of 5 other group mates. Not considering the other factors like chilling with friends and family time. I clearly had nothing much of that sort, anyway. With countless trainings a week. My life was basically like: (School > project meetings > training > homework/report > Sleep) and the cycle repeats. Things were made even tougher with not very understanding group mates who constantly asserts stress or fakes like they understand but actually don't get it at all. I don't blame anyone because I understand that different people have their own way of getting things done and not everyone understands the life of a student athlete. To add on to the already very massive headaches I get everyday, basketball was hell for me that year. I couldn't see myself on court at all, when I was at training, projects were at the back of my mind and I had no focus.

THE WORST THING was, competition season clashed with the peak period of project submissions. It is extremely tough to handle because the thing is time was really really uncontrollable. Even sacrificing sleep wasn't enough because everyone was fighting for me in the day. Honestly, I can't recall how many times I broke down that year. Can you imagine someone so passionate about her game, trying so hard to find herself back on court, yet failed terribly, and have her coach scolding her ass off in front of a clearly very massive crowd, and going back home to stay up late to complete what she has to before turning in. And going back to school the next day, feigning a smile and tries to please every single soul except herself. I have no idea how I went through this bad year, but I'm glad I did. And a big thank you for those who were there for me, to catch my when I fell.


The start of 2012, I saw the true colors of people. The people whom I thought were my friends. I was utterly disgusted at how political things were, and how ugly people can get. Being so involved in basketball previously, I clearly did not have much opportunities to expand my circle of friends in year 2. As much as I don't wish to mention anything hypocritical over here, but I was certainly malign. And the worst thing was I couldn't stand up for myself  and even until today, I wished I had that aggressiveness to confront whoever who made nasty remarks on me. It felt unfair because I felt like they didn't give those people a chance to know me, or vice versa. Oh, and I finally finally finally decide to quit basketball for good in year3 knowing that it won't help me in any way and I really want to focus. It was a tough decision and it was hard to leave. But I am happier without it now, I guess?

God is good. Thank you for giving me such opportunities and blessing me with all the people and happenings that made 2012 so beautiful. I started out with 2012 knowing that I have something to proof and I wanted to shut the mouths of those bad ass people. And I am more than contented with everything. It made me realize that the world needs to have a balance, because there are so many faces to a person and to  know who are the true ones, always.

2013-GRADUATION and to the next phase of life :)




oh my god......
this was supposed to be a picture post but I dontknow how it ended up like this. Anw, I'll be uploading the next post with pics so........ thanks for looking back with me ^^v

barely hanging on

I was just about to pour my thoughts, but I was just reminded that I've some things left undone.

The last battle, so keep the fire burning. I'm just barely hanging on I can barely catch the glimpse of hope.

directions?

Hi guys.

This is the peak peak peakest period of my entire poly life I guess? Honestly, how exactly did I find time to update this space. The stress bug sparked this blog post.

Currently in the midst of mid-sem test + tutorial + individual assignments + presentations. It's quite crazy because it's getting annoying and I'm so sick of everything. I don't have a whale of emotions hitting me, all that I have in mind is- I can't wait for school to end. We all know how much "motivation" counts when it comes to completing a task or achieving your end goal, right? But the thing is, I have little or zero motivation. Even though from time to time, I've some adrenaline rush to get things done. To sit down and admire the end product of my efforts. Other than that, I would still bring up the statement- I can't wait for school to end.

I had been telling everyone that I want to take a year off from school and earn some bucks to enjoy life, explore the some parts of the world, give myself a good year break. Even though once in awhile I had been skiving and taking self-proclaimed off days. hah. For now, all I have to do is hang on even though I barely am. And the constant motivation from that special someone, and my two bestfriends. Of cos, my indescribable excitement for the semester to end makes me thing that I should cherish all the time that I can have now.

In fact, no seniors ever told me that they prefer work to school. All peers said that they miss school and they would do anything to go back to being a student. But I'm just too demotivated and sleep deprived (mainly because I'm facing insomnia..) So, just hang on there sam. There's many more adventure waiting for you. Enjoy what you have now, and keep smiling. *force a smile*

I can't wait to shout..... "SEMESTER END LOH!" *the army style*

byebye,
sad sam waves goodbye

*goes to bed and try to sleep*

Samantha's preloved (L)

Hi girls!
I'm doing a selling post on my pre-loved items. Please show some support :b


Item 1: Denim High-Waisted Short, $20

 

Size: S, Fits UK 6-8

Waist: 12.5 inches

Length: 13inches

Condition: 9.5/10

LOL

Item 2: Rugged High-Waisted Shorts, $18

Size: M, Fits UK 6-10

Waist: 13.5 inches

Length: 11.5 inches 

Condition: 8/10

 

 

 Item 3: Side Curve High-Waisted Shorts, $18

 

 

Size: M, Fits UK 6-10

Waist: 13.5 inches

Length: 11 inches 

Condition: 9.5/10 

 

 

 Item 4: Snow dot navy blue pants, $16

 

 

Size: L, Fits UK 8-12

Waist: 15 inches

Length: 36.5 inches 

Condition: 9.5/10 

 Item 5: Brown Pocket Boyfriend Shirt, $22

 

 

Size: S, Fits UK 6-10

Shoulder: 14 inches

Across: 17 inches

Length: 24 inches 

Condition: 10/10

 Item 6: Embroidery Printed Boyfriend Shirt, $22

 

 

Size: M, Fits UK 6-12

Shoulder: 15 inches

Across: 18 inches

Length: 24 inches 

Condition: 9.5/10 

 Item 7: Bershka Checkered Boyfriend Shirt, $22

 

 

 Size: S, 26, Fits UK 6-10

Shoulder: 14 inches

Across: 16 inches

Length: 23.5 inches 

Condition: 9.5/10  

Item 8: Chiffon beige and black long sleeve, $14

 

 

 Size: M, Fits UK 6-12

Shoulder: 14 inches

Across: 19 inches

Length: 20 inches 

Condition: 8/10

Note: I love this top, good for semi formal wear or casual wear!

 

Item 9: Floral Chiffon long sleeve, $15

 

 

 Size: M, Fits UK 6-10

Shoulder: 14 inches

Across: 17 inches

Length: 21 inches 

Condition: 8/10

 

 

Item 10: Top Shop Knitted Wear, $22

 

 

Eur 26, US 6, UK 8

*The rest below are basically Size M, if you want to know the measurements, leave a comment!*

Item 11: Grey Pullover, $16

 

Item 12: Floral Dress, $15

 

Item 13: Polka Dot Jumper, $14

Item 14: Forever 21 Patterned Jumper, $17

 

 

 

 

Item 15: Aztec Printed Tank, $12

 

 

Item 16: Forever 21 Beige Top, $14

 

 Item 17: Semi Maxi Dress, $14

 

 

Item 18: Bodycon Dresses, $10 each

Hot Pink, Electric Blue & Greenish Blue

  Item 19: Net polka dot cropped top, $15

  Item 20: Chiffon Tank, $12

 

  Item 21: Black Leather Tank, $12

That's about all for now. Please support my first ever selling post for pre-loved clothes. For more details or enquiries, please email to: samanthacty@gmail.com

 

stressful but pretty happy

Hi guys!

I had a pretty good start for this week, because I finally met my girlfriend whom I haven met since I came back from shanghai! We were both too busy with our own stuffs and time decided to give in to us hehe. We hit the gym. Our plan to run an hour on the treadmill failed because there was a 20mins time limit to each. So We did some weights and abs workout.

Then, yesterday the both of us were so thrilled, excited and happy because we planned a trip back to 圣公会 for a balling ksession. 建安教练 was so nice to allow us! We caught up a little and it was so nice reminiscing the past. *Points to the gym* me: do you still remember how We used to run the treadmill beside each other?" I rmb we could run 10.5and now I find myself panting at 9.5 lol I'm pathetic:(

 Me so happy I was jumping around and kept wanting to take pics. p.s taken with my note2 self-timer here. By far, loving my new android phone:b don't be taken aback by how fast I've swapped sides. I still love Apple. It was my first love afterall, hahaha.

 This was post workout "meal" obviously we didn't pay $3 to get a pathetically small cup, hehhh.

 Snapped a few pictures in AHS. Can't imagine I survived staying in the hostel for a year, I must be super brave hur.

Just us in our Jerseys. It's really quite weird yo see me taking this hugeass phone yo snap mirror reflection pics. It's like almost the size of my palm. *Facepalm*




~Some pictures from school. My groupmates are seriously training my abs. They're making me laugh/lol/rofl /giggle/smirk / everyone ten mins. OMGeeee~~

 master Wayne grinning at russ or Darren Cos they were complaining about this pose, LOL! 我的笑点好低哈哈哈哈哈哈好好笑！！

CRAZY groupmates desperately snatching Darren's phone away from.Wayne because He wanted to delete his photo when Darren was trying to proof that he looks like linanxing by making a collage....... LOL****

dDrumroll PURLLLLEEEASEE

*ROFL **

this is exactly what happens in our group when you take a break. That's his own phone dp BTW. Haha. Oh no I better set a passlock myself lol. Cos I was the culprit and azi was the accomplice.hahhaaa 

And azi trying to posefor her contact picture lol 

Ending off with the one Whoa showers me with lots of love and patience:)

hell week starts next week. And I need to gear up for the crazy report submissions and tests goodluck to.me. May lady luck shine upon us and May patience and virtue be my guardian angel.

nights world!

Bidding farewell to a great 2012

I know this is a little belated haha. But I feel that I really needed a "Goodbye 2012, welcome 2013" post. So here goes!

2012 had been yet another amazing year for me. I feel like I've seen more things, exposed myself more to life/the world, learnt how to appreciate things more and grew stronger as a person.

Some memorable things I remembered doing last year:

My bf woo me in the coolest and most drama-like way I could ever imagined myself in, My first overseas trip with my bf, quit basketball for real, never touched basketball more than 10times, got used to presentations,  meeting this group of awesome groupmates (who made year3 what it is), met many chatty babes in Sogurt, had many many great chats with my dad, laughed so hard I cried, cried because I donthave things my was and not forgetting making a decision to settle for OSIP where I had a lot of "first-times " and experienced what it is like to live alone and away from home. 

2012 felt like a roller-coaster ride, but I really loved it. Just want to thank all my friends, families and loved ones for making 2012 so awesome. It wouldn't have been this great without y'all.

With love,
sammmmmmmy~

Finding the right path, finding myself

Hello mello wello bello ~~

Merry xmas everybody! (L)

It's been quite awhile, right? I'll complete this blogpost today with breadcrumbs of my past few weeks . If you’re like me, you’ll have those moments where all you want is to be presented with a kick-ass list of relevant and personalized content to consume on demand. There would be times where you have a lot of things in mind and end up forgetting. So I'm telling myself this, to pen down every single thing that comes into your mind.

Okay! Life had been a little shaky for me. And I mean it's really just only ME. I had been leading a comfortable 3 months in Shanghai. How should I put it? Or rather, life has been like work 9-6pm > dinner with friends/dinner at home > own time own target > sleep. And the cycle repeats. I didn't talk to a lot of people there, when I was at home, I only texted/skype. Yes I had my friends and aunt over there. I dontknow how to put it. But it seems like I became an introvert after I came back. YAH I AM THINKING TOO MUCH.

Or is this part of being independent and living on your own. It seems like when I came back, I don't talk as much as I used to. I feel it, and it kinda horrifies me. And having a lot of myself-time over there, it gave me more chance to think about life. And observe a lot of our fellow human being, the working world, the environment.. what's worse is that, I'm looking to graduation now. Questions like "what do you want to do after you grad?", "what do you want to be next time?". It haunts me okay. Like really. I use to think naively.... do what makes you happy. But like seriously?? I know we only live once, so live it to the fullest. But just living happily ever after, does that even count? I need a sense of satisfaction, a sense of accomplishment. I've not felt it ever since donkey years ago.

I once told a friend this, "If you don't love yourself, no one is going to do so." And I'm throwing that back at myself now. It's not that I don't. Can I say I'm just lost at this juncture? I don't know what's next. Seriously, what's next? I hate this part of me, this lost self. Life rewards the one who works hard. So I should take awhile and think about what the next adventure awaits me. So, if you don't love yourself, you're just being plain selfish to the dearest ones who do.

OKAY, enough said. I'm dolphinately looking forward to 2013. I mean it's the best time to say "time to clean off your records and start afresh!" Not forgetting that 21/12 didn't zap us into dust/thin air. We survived what they called doomsday, I dontknow to feel happy or not. Maybe towards the happy side because I feel like I've not seen so much of the world.Good thing is that we survived another year, gained valuable experience. Hopefully, do more crazy wiser shits in 2013. Okay it's not a new year post so I shall not....
 
And to those who thinks that i'm a little too crazy/hyperactive.... enjoy this while it lasts.... because the crazy sam is coming back to town~~~ hohohohohoh. *self comfort*

xoxo,
sleep tight world!